The First Wives Club

Co-written by KLConfidential

Three groups spend other people's money: children, thieves, politicians. All three need supervision. - Dick Armey

As it turns out, there is a fourth group that was not included into the above: the wives of certain politicians, who preside over certain charitable organisations like discontented dominatrixes, and who use the funds of certain charitable organisations like personal bank accounts.

Despite the helpless eyelash batting of numerous vapid-eyed VIP wives, and the verbal diarrhoea from their similarly IQ challenged spouses, two newspapers and a blogsite carried separate reports on possible malpractices conducted by this fourth group.

Two days ago, the Sun carried a report that Balkis utilised funds from its own coffers for "shopping trips, overseas junkets and lavish functions" which has "nothing to do with charity".

Yesterday, the New Straits Times featured and article that at "no time" were the external auditors of Balkis consulted prior to the organisation’s dissolution, nor were 2007 accounts for Balkis ever "audited or finalised".

And today, I came across Jeff Ooi's posting questioning a "balance of RM590,665" supposedly donated to charities that is, by his count at least, unaccounted for.

Well, now, doesn’t it just lift your spirits to know that there are mentally diseased creatures out there who are more than willing to treat money donated to charity like it was their own, and to top it off, actually indulge in that money for personal gratification?

After all, in these trying times, who are WE to rail against the burning fashion needs of a select number of oversized - and over-privileged - women? Have a heart, guys. If we were to really think about it, these pea-brains are so disadvantaged that they can’t even slip into dress sizes equivalent to their IQs.

Sure, when pigs fly...and no, VIP wives in planes don’t count.

So why doesn’t those two reports set me reeling in shock? Well, because most so-called charitable organisations just aren’t...charitable.

To quote Sheryl Sandberg, who conducted a study commissioned by Google.org:

"The problem with charity is that it goes from the RICH to the RICH. It's truly remarkable that people think they're giving to the poor when they aren't".

The hard truth of it all is that in most cases, less than 40% of the funds collected for charity are actually channelled to charity. More often than not, the amount is even less, sometimes as low as 10%.

The rest are used for so-called 'administrative fees' and 'fund-raising costs'. In the case of Balkis, their “shopping trips, overseas junkets and lavish functions” probably falls into fund-raising costs to attract donations, or just plain embezzlement.

In some cases, crass profit is disguised as fund-raising costs. Remember buying a RM1.00 a bookmark that carried the National Kidney Foundation’s name back in 2005? Well, sorry to say that your RM1.00 was divided as 90 cents profit to the maker of the bookmark, and 10 cents donation a real patient.

Balkis, or Persatuan Bunga Tanjung for that matter, isn’t the first, nor will it be the last charitable organisation to abuse the trust of those donating, and those needing donations.

However, that does not excuse their abuses and excesses, especially when they conduct their unsavoury activities under the umbrella of the government. That does not excuse their niggardly attempts at raping and abusing so many of those less privileged of money that was meant for them.

No one, and I mean no one, should ever fuck around with money meant for the less fortunate.

Then again, could we have expected any better from the First Wives Club of the ruling coalition? Especially Khir Toyo’s wife. I don’t even want to remember her name. People like her are the ones behind the scenes quietly stealing from...well anyone they can.

In the Quran it says:

"Give to orphans. Don’t steal from them."

"Don’t steal from orphans (or Allah will burn you forever in Hell)"

And lastly:

"Don’t steal from orphans. Don’t cheat or lie."

In which case, it seems that the First Wives Club has done all three. Their actions of transferring funds immediately after their respective states fell to the opposition, their lies about their accounts being audited...you draw your own conclusions.

But to me, one First Wife in particular seems particularly mischievous...but then again that could be my prejudice against her and her husband (ex Selangor MB who it seems destroyed document and tuck his tail between his legs to London).

But then again, it probably runs in that family.

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Azalina The Politician

Now, this woe-man is really pissing me off.

Just 2 days after her appointment, she berlakon (otherwise known as wayang or acted) like she cared about tourism - although she kept it strictly within her constituency:

(The Star Online, March 30 2008): ...Azalina said, "I understand your problems are real and I want to resolve them immediately because tourism is an important component as one of the nation’s top income earners."

Next in the same article:

On Thursday, she will be meeting with tourism board members to discuss ways to improve the quality of service in the industry. Another item on her priority list is revamping all the State Tourism Action Councils.

"We want to appoint officers who are in tune with the federal government's policies in terms of tourism. The rationale is to appoint officers who understand our policies and execute our plans," she stressed.

Oh... She wants to improve the quality of service and 'revamp' ALL the State Tourism Councils.

I'm not done yet...

How do you hope to overcome problems and issues faced by the ministry?

Azalina: At present the tourism industry is the second highest foreign exchange earner. Last year, due to the success of programmes implemented by the ministry, a total of 20.9 million tourists came into the country, contributing RM46bil in foreign exchange, a growth of 19.5% in tourist arrivals and 52.2% in income compared to the previous year.

The point I'd like to make is, even after:-

1. Acknowledging tourism as the nation's top income earner
2. Promising to improve the quality of services
3. Acknowledging that the tourism industry is the second highest foreign exchange earner (complete with figures - fuyo!)

Even after all that...SHE TRIES TO KILL OFF TOURISM IN OPPOSITION LED STATES without caring if they were the top tourism earners or not.

Azalina, isn't that like shooting yourself in the foot? Considering you ARE the Minister of Tourism and all...just thought I'd highlight that to you, you twat.

To my dear readers, let me translate (from my personal point of view) what she's really saying. But hey, you don't have to take my word for it, this is purely MY interpretation.

(Star Online, April 3 2008): Tourism memorandums of understanding with Opposition-ruled state governments will be terminated given the change in leadership, said Tourism Minister Datuk Seri Azalina Othman said.

Translation 1:
Nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh-nyeh...I'm the Minister of Tourism and I can do whatever the fuck I want to. You are not BN's friend, so you're not MY friend. I don't want to friend you because you don't suck my BNs balls.

Translation 2:
Ha... padan muka korang. Aku dah kata dah, korang patut undi BN...sekarang rasakan. Aku ni dah lama tak dapat period, hormon aku dah tak betul dah ni... jaga kau.

Yes crude, I know. But she irks me so.

She said this was in line with the termination of Tourism Action Councils in the states which were previously chaired by Barisan Nasional’s state executive councillors in charge of tourism in each state.

"Normally, the council works together with the state executive council and local authorities. But now that the leadership in the state governments have changed, we have to terminate the MoUs and the councils," she told a post-Cabinet press briefing yesterday.

Translation 1:
I'm so proud that I came up with this excuse all by myself. All you BN enemies WILL NOT receive anything from ME. Na'ah, chico. No way mama gonna give you love this time, me and my BN chicas gonna make you sorry.

Translation 2:
Well, BN can only work with BN. We are unable to work together with anyone who points out our mistakes. So as I mentioned before, we just HAVE to terminate the MoUs and the councils.

Our ego is too big, we'd rather cut off our arms than admit our wrongs. We are sore losers so we feel that being childish will win us votes for the next election...it's either that or we hope that the people will be so desperate that they'll vote us back.

We are into the practice of blackmailing the people because essentially, we have them by the balls.

Azalina said that a committee would instead be set up, with members appointed by the Federal Government similar to the format implemented in PAS-held Kelantan. "We will appoint committee members from the tourism community to help develop tourism in these states," she said.

Azalina said some tourism events, such as the Penang Music Festival (in May) and the Langkawi Water Festival (this weekend), would go ahead and contracts with state contractors would be honoured. "However, we will re-evaluate plans for other events if they have not started or if the contractors have not been appointed."

Translation:
Instead of having the council who are supposed to work together with the state executive councils and local authorities, I am going to set up a committee of people who I can control. I will marginalise these 5 states and their people, the same way BN has been marginalizing Kelantan all these years.

That being said, events that bring in big bucks like the Penang Music Festival, will go on. This is because I want it to seem like I am doing SOMETHING. However, I will re-evaluate other events because I don't want these Opposition led governments to outdo me and make me look bad.

"Maybe we have to look at other venues or options. But there is no total boycott in tourism. We have to play it by ear and see what these state governments do," she added.

Azalina said industry players she met recently, including hoteliers and travel agencies, had expressed concern over tourism in Opposition-held states, given the players’ huge investments, especially in Penang and Kedah.

Translation:
I will only propose touristy events in other states. But don't worry, this is not a TOTAL boycott... only a partial one. We'll see la how smart these opposition-led state governments are. See? Even the hoteliers and travel agencies have begun licking my ass because I am Minister of Tourism. Let's see these opposition states try to lick my ass now.

"They hope there will not be any negative policies in these states that will affect tourism," she added.

Translation:
I hope there WILL be negative policies in these states that will affect tourism so that I will look good. Because I'm really so stupid that I think being the Minister of Tourism, the performances of these states will not affect me. I'm so dumb that I think this will make me look good and not show how incompetent I actually am.

On PKR, DAP and PAS’ decision to form Pakatan Rakyat, Azalina said it would not last long given their different policies, unlike Barisan which had the same manifesto for all. "Politics is a marriage of convenience. Politicians can say anything they want to gain the people’s support.

"Maybe Pakatan Rakyat will work for a month or a year but it will break up in the end as they are too different," she added.

Translation:
I'm trying to convince BN and myself that PKR/DAP/PAS's decision to form Pakatan Rakyat will not last long because I'm still in shock over the last general election (I still have trouble believing the results).

I'm so conceited so as to believe that I actually won my constituency when it was handed to me on a silver platter. I also think that Pakatan Rakyat is just like BN because politicians can say anything they want to gain the people's support. I mean, BN has been practising this for 50 over years, make empty promises to gain the people's support.

I'm not a politician who actually practices what I preach, so I'm sure Pakatan Rakyat is just another scam like me. I believe that politics is a marriage of convenience: to marry my greedy yet stupid self with a money making machine that supports dumb people...


Azalina,

I hope you read this, you cow. You have no right depriving the people of the opposition states just because you don't like their governments. You have no right to 'hit-back' at these states simply because they did not agree with your BN.

You must remember (if your brain has the capacity) that you are MALAYSIAN Minister of Tourism. Not BARISAN NASIONAL President of Tourism. Stop operating through your shallow short-sighted VINDICTIVE mind and start operating like a MATURED ADULT (notice, I'm not asking you to operate like an INTELLIGENT adult, just ADULT will do, you retard).

You should realise that you are in a position to give more, do more and contribute more to the people and the nation; not to be a female dog (often called a bitch) who smells and licks her master's balls, even though she prefers to lick another bitch.

You're probably such a bimbo that you fail to realise that this statement/policy will greatly affect the normal Joe in these states. Your actions are dishonorable and shows how much you 'care' about Malaysians as a whole.

Listen Azalina, nobody cares about your sexual orientation or your 'butch'ness as long as you do your job and do it well and with all fairness. THIS is what you get if you do/say something stupid.

So if you don't like bloggers pointing out your faults then stop doing/saying stupid things la.
Is that so hard to understand? Yes? I suggest you refresh your kindergarten education. I know 3 year olds who can understand that, if you can't.

YOU DESERVE EVERY INSULT I THREW AT YOU HERE...and it doesn't matter how much you try to 'explain' and 'clarify' to the public. As you said, "politicians can say anything they want to gain the people's support."

You said it, not I.

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Perak: A Cry of ‘Equality’ From Another Moron

There are times when I am reminded that Malaysian politicians on both sides of the political fence are sometimes bigots at heart, and that Malaysian politics is sometimes a game of racial divide that is played to the hilt.

The latest example of this is the resignation and subsequent retraction of resignation of Buntong assemblyman A. Sivasubramaniam, who shall be called 'moron' from this point onwards. At this point I realise that I probably have a number of fingers poised to flick out in my direction in defence of this moron.

So what? Quite frankly, I don’t really give a damn.

Whether he, or the rakyat, were promised two Indian assemblymen appointments as state executive council members in the Perak State government or not is besides the point to me. The point is that yet again some idiot - this time an ignoble moron from DAP - is coming out of the woodwork to say that equal representation is the only way to govern the people of this nation.

I don’t know about you guys out there, but weren't we trying to crawl out of that mess? Does it really matter what the racial composition of any government, organisation, or association is, as long as the work gets done fairly and efficiently?

The way this moron is going on about things, I guess not.

Perhaps he does have a valid point of view. Or perhaps he is thinking along the same lines of PKR deputy president Dr Syed Husin Ali, who has previously called for "the spirit of sincere openness" because he "stress[es] that the composition of the exco must reflect the composition of the population of Perak and represent the interests of all ethnic groups fairly. All parties must be sensitive to the hopes and sentiments of the people".

Or perhaps he is a moron.

Either way, he still needs a kick up the bum for saying that "the decision [for one Indian assemblyman] was a huge slap for the Indian community and designed to hoodwink the Indian community in Perak" and for adding that the Perak state leadership the Perak DAP leadership had failed to respect "the voice of makkal sakti (People’s Power)".

I’m sorry, moron, but Makkal Sakti means more to me than just Indian power. It means people power. So please don’t turn this genuine cry for the recognition of rights and liberty into some nationalistic slogan for the Indians like the ruling coalition’s Takkan Melayu Hilang Di Dunia.

We do not need that sort of nonsense to come out to polarize us further as races, you moron. We're been struggling to come out of it for the last 30 years, and now that some of us have seen the light, you think you have the right to shove us back into that cesspool because of some misplaced pride?

Yes, Indians have been marginalised. So have the Chinese, Malays, Dayaks, Kadazans, Dusuns, Jakuns, Ibans, Orang Asli, etc.

What about their contribution? What about the contribution of the Chinese, the Malays, even card carrying UMNO members who voted or abstained from voting to give you that mandate to be in office in the first place?

Seriously, it irritates me when someone comes up with harebrained nonsense like 'equal representation', or some other hogwash like it.

An extension of this logic is that if the real minority in Malaysia were to demand recognition, we should go about trying to elect midget Orang Asli or Ibans into office because their piece of the pie is so much more smaller than the rest of us? Does that sound appealing to you, moron?

Yes, I know this post is going to make some of you out there unhappy. It really doesn’t matter to me. I’m not running for prom king, though from the looks of it I guess the moron is trying to run for prom queen.

Me, I’m no partisan. While I’m always up to take a swing - and enjoy every minute of it - at the ruling coalition, that does not mean that idiocy and arrogance is the sole province of those psychotic pseudo politicians. Everyone, including opposition members, have it in them to become just as idiotic and arrogant.

Personally, I agree with one of our readers. Don’t think for one second that the opposition are angels, and even if you do, remember that even angels can fall from grace.

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Terengganu: Losing Face, Or Falling On It?

“It’s not a question of losing face because what is more important was that the matter has been resolved.”
- Prime Minister Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi

Well, I hope you don’t mind, my dear premier, but I beg to differ. After all, there is quite a large difference between losing face, and falling flat on it. The resounding splat! made by you as your not-so-elegant mug made contact with the unyielding ground did not just reverberate between the small space between your large ears.

No indeed. The resonance from your ungainly fall echoed throughout the country, exposing (yet again!) the nation to your true nature, that of a characterless and impotent premier who coarsely attempts to maintain his waning authority through patronage and political manoeuvring and manipulation.

This time around, our inept premier made a thorough mess of things when he tried to wrest control of the state of Terengganu from its people – to his own benefit, no doubt – by attempting to dominate the nomination and election of the state’s Menteri Besar.

Fortunately, as he is always wont to do, our premier made a total mess of things. As coined most aptly by Forest Gump, “Stupid is as stupid does”.

Perhaps for some reason he did not factor in the possibility that his choices have always been poor, bad or atrocious, depending on his (or his son-in-law’s) involvement in the decision. Or perhaps for some reason he did not factor in the possibility that his party’s fall from grace in the 12th General Election may have been somewhat attributed to the complete fiasco that is his premiership, the utter debacle that is his leadership, or the tragedy that is his party.

For whatever reason, the bungling premier tried and failed to control the nomination and election of the Terengganu Menteri Besar, after which he did what he always did best…he quietly tucked his tail between his legs and slunk away to hide under someone’s skirt, and got someone else to do the dirty work for him.

That dirty work was done firstly by a gaggle of spotty faced twits issuing none too subtle threats of tendered resignations, and secondly by a horde of paper pushing queers mangling the constitutional.

In comes the constitutional monarch, and bang! that gaggle of spotty faced twits meekly swear their assorted testicles into service to the new Menteri Besar, and that horde of paper pushing queers discovered that there isn’t much of the constitution left to mangle.

How did all that happen? No one really knows, as its all been hushed up, but apparently there is talk that the accounts books of Terengganu are missing an obscenely large sum of money while the ruling coalition was playing at the administration of the state.

So while the issue has been ‘resolved’, there is still a great deal of loose rope hanging around to figuratively and literally hang a large number of people who used to – and still do - walk through the state’s corridors of power.

The least of it is, "Which unlucky moron is going to take the fall for it all?"

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