Our Skin

Our skin says so much about us yet so little. Being a dark skinned child, i was subjected to comments like "Wah, so cute, so pretty! But so dark.." "You sure you're malay ah?" and the most hurtful one,

"How come everyone in your family is so fair but you are so black? Are you adopted?"

I grew up hating my dark skin and wishing i was fair like my other siblings. I even entertained thoughts that i might be adopted. As i entered adulthood when self confidence, self worth and self acceptance set in, I realized that I love the skin I'm in. I wouldn't have it any other way.

This posting is not so much about myself but about people. Malaysians to be precise. The example above just shows how superficial and cruel people can be when judging others by the color of their skin.

We Malaysians tend to judge others (and ourselves) by the color of our skin. It doesn't have to be this way. Ok, what i mean is we judge each other based on race. This is a bad thing, in my opinion. Common labels that we give each other are:

1. The chinese are wealthy.
2. Indians are always drunkards.
3. Malays are a lazy bunch.

These labels come from feelings of distrust amongst us, which separates us further, which in turn increases the distrust among the races. It is a vicious cycle.

Let me tell you a recent (very demoralizing) experience i had in YouTube. One day, out of curiosity, i logged into Namewee's famous YouTube music video, Negarakuku. I'm sure most of you are aware of the big hoo haa that was caused by this particular video. I won't get into that but I want to talk about the comments on that page.

It was very depressing to read the hate comments on that page, knowing that it came from Malaysians. This shouldn't happen in a country like ours! I feel so disheartened when I realized these hate comments (againts one race/religion or another) were so filled with untruths and were written out of our ignorance of one another.

Just to get it out of the way: I am malay. I am muslim. And I love it.

Most of the comments on Namewee's video were warring words: malay vs chinese. The language used, i will not repeat here but suffice it to say that the vocabulary was colorful, to say the least. The comments were sometimes much too hurtful for me to swallow as a muslim and malay but the comments against the chinese and indians were equally as hurtful. I forced myself to remain objective and to judge the truth of those comments.

Some comments mentioned that malays live off the grace of the 'malay' government through the NEP. Some comments expressed anger that other races are being left out of the equation and that malays are the undeserving 'privileged'. Other comments stated that malays would be left far behind had it not been for the government 'saving their sorry asses' (pardon me). There were comments which said that the the chinese were the biggest contributors to the economy and the malays should be thankful. Most comments mentioned what a bad job our 'malay' ministers are doing and how the 'malay' politicians are dirty/corrupt. Some other comments were threatening the repeat of May 13 1969 (between the malays and chinese) or threatening the repeat of the Kampung Medan incident (malays and indians). Overall, there were hate and violent messages all over the place.

I wonder, do all Malaysians feel this way? Do they really think that one and only one race should dominate above the rest? I don't believe so. In my opinion, malays, chinese and indians should be equal malaysians. We've been here for so long, shouldn't we just do away with the racial stereotypes and policies that divide us racially?

I decided to investigate by getting to know the commenters.

Despite the hate and violent words thrown around, these were pretty decent people. After lots of digging, it turns out that they have little or no knowledge of the malay culture or Islam. On the same note, malays also have little or no knowledge of the chinese culture or religion. Ignorance. That being said, what ruffles them up is our government. Present and Past. I agree with them for the most part too. They are unhappy with the fact the malays are getting help from the government and are given many privileges while they are left to fend for themselves. They want equality for all races. That's it. That. Is. It. The malay ministers are not helping at all with all the keris waving and racial statements that they have been making. Shameful, shameful. Tsk tsk..

Note: True, the government came up with the NEP, but i must say that not all malays agree with this policy.

Malaysians, we have a problem. There is growing dissent between the races, be sure of that. Denying it will only make it worse and make you a fool. This rift between the malays, chinese and indians are the product of ignorance. IGNORANCE which we cannot put up with anymore. IGNORANCE which we must overcome and rise above. IGNORANCE which will ultimately destroy us one day.

Our generalizations of one race or another begets our ignorance. Sometimes i wonder, how did we get through 50 years of independence and still not know each other? It's like being in a bad marriage you just can't get out of. Like most marriage counselors, I would advise us to

"Work it out and not just lay there, hoping the problem will go away. Let's be more proactive."

I know that some of you might say that I am generalizing things, myself. But let me state this - there are a handful of us who actually do tolerate each other, understand each other's motivations and drives - and get along with other races famously dahlink!

So what do we do now? We make an effort, that's what. Make a change within ourselves. Ask yourself, what do you wish other races knew/understood about you? For me, I wish other races understand that not all malays are lazy. On behalf of my indian sistas and brothas, I wish other races understand that not all indians are criminals and drunkards. For my chinese geng, I wish other races understand that not all of them are kiasu and money driven.

Like i mentioned earlier, these are generalizing statements which are simply not true. There are lazy, drunks, criminals, kiasu and money driven people everywhere, no matter the race. Likewise for religion. Contrary to popular belief, Islam does not condone violence and terrorism. Neither does Hinduism, Buddhism or Christianity. Nevertheless, we see evidence of people who subscribe to these faiths committing senseless violent acts. So why pick on Islam? No religion condones this, I don't need to be an expert to tell you that.

It saddens me that Malaysians are buying into the western rhetoric, that Islam is a violent religion. This statement is made out of sheer ignorance, i tell you. And maybe a touch of hypocrisy since they invented 'terrorism' in the first place. Malaysians, we should know better. We've been together for more than 50 years. In fact, if you count backwards, we have been together for close to 600 years since the first immigrant landed in Malaya. We should rise above all this because we have a long history together. We just should know better.

So let's make a pact everyone. Let's be more tolerant and understanding of one another. Let's stop seeing each other as malay, chinese or indians. Let's be malay malaysians, chinese malaysians and indian malaysians. Let's stand up for each other and watch each other's backs. Let's stand up for all the injustices done to any of us, together. Malays, don't just watch when you see your chinese brothers being treated unfairly. Vice versa for all of us. We are all in this together. Let's remember that.

Lastly, I call all of you to fight for justice, fairness and equality... together. Let's not look at our skin color. Let's go deeper than that.

I call all Malaysians who call this country their home to join me and many many others at the Bersih Rally on 10 November 2007 at Dataran Merdeka (walk to Istana Negara)3pm. Let's stand up and demand a fair justice system, demand that the government take notice. (So far, our defacto Law Minister has been denying there is a problem so let's make them sit up and take notice) One cause, One Malaysia! Hurrah!

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In the Que

I'm in the que. In the que. I'm Queing.

It's amazing how many Malaysians do not know the meaning of this term. It upsets me (most of you too, i bet) when someone jumps in front of the que when you have been patiently waiting for the past 15 minutes, holding your pee, craving for a cigarette, weathering your hunger pangs while giving apologetic looks to your other half who is waiting for you in the car whilst battling a migraine. Out of the blue, comes some joker who double parked, waltzed into the Kiosk (PJ, Section 14), cuts the que, pays and waltzes off into the sunset.

Reason? Well, he was just buying a cigarette when the rest of us were buying more than one item.

Annoying, ain't it?

Yeah, i know. I'm the lady who sharply reprimands the evil doer and demands he "step away from the damn counter and move to be back of the line!". Yup, that's me. If my reflexes are too slow to do that, the cashier gets it from me. Oh, he gets it good alright.

I think the cashier is as much at fault as Mr Joker. By servicing a client who doesn't que, means you are condoning this behavior. I sure as hell ain't settling for that. After a tongue lashing (another 5 minutes), i'm off to tend to my darling who is practically fainting in the car.

I think everyone must own up and admit that they have (at least once) jumped a que. This is a bad habit that Malaysians must stop condoning! Why should we tolerate such rude behavior? It is one of the most selfish daily actions that people make.. and it says a lot about us. Selfish. Thoughtless. We should be more considerate and thoughtful about other people.

Therefore I encourage you.. yes, i'm talking to you. I'm encouraging all of you to stop being the victim of this behavior! Should it happen to you, speak up. Speak up and be heard! Tell the evil doer that you were there first and advise him to be more courteous... yeah, not easy.. but try. We have to start somewhere right?

One advice though: Don't try it on a larger person.. hehe.. pick your battles and win 'em!

Sigh. The necessary battles we must fight every day..

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