The First Wives Club

Co-written by KLConfidential

Three groups spend other people's money: children, thieves, politicians. All three need supervision. - Dick Armey

As it turns out, there is a fourth group that was not included into the above: the wives of certain politicians, who preside over certain charitable organisations like discontented dominatrixes, and who use the funds of certain charitable organisations like personal bank accounts.

Despite the helpless eyelash batting of numerous vapid-eyed VIP wives, and the verbal diarrhoea from their similarly IQ challenged spouses, two newspapers and a blogsite carried separate reports on possible malpractices conducted by this fourth group.

Two days ago, the Sun carried a report that Balkis utilised funds from its own coffers for "shopping trips, overseas junkets and lavish functions" which has "nothing to do with charity".

Yesterday, the New Straits Times featured and article that at "no time" were the external auditors of Balkis consulted prior to the organisation’s dissolution, nor were 2007 accounts for Balkis ever "audited or finalised".

And today, I came across Jeff Ooi's posting questioning a "balance of RM590,665" supposedly donated to charities that is, by his count at least, unaccounted for.

Well, now, doesn’t it just lift your spirits to know that there are mentally diseased creatures out there who are more than willing to treat money donated to charity like it was their own, and to top it off, actually indulge in that money for personal gratification?

After all, in these trying times, who are WE to rail against the burning fashion needs of a select number of oversized - and over-privileged - women? Have a heart, guys. If we were to really think about it, these pea-brains are so disadvantaged that they can’t even slip into dress sizes equivalent to their IQs.

Sure, when pigs fly...and no, VIP wives in planes don’t count.

So why doesn’t those two reports set me reeling in shock? Well, because most so-called charitable organisations just aren’t...charitable.

To quote Sheryl Sandberg, who conducted a study commissioned by Google.org:

"The problem with charity is that it goes from the RICH to the RICH. It's truly remarkable that people think they're giving to the poor when they aren't".

The hard truth of it all is that in most cases, less than 40% of the funds collected for charity are actually channelled to charity. More often than not, the amount is even less, sometimes as low as 10%.

The rest are used for so-called 'administrative fees' and 'fund-raising costs'. In the case of Balkis, their “shopping trips, overseas junkets and lavish functions” probably falls into fund-raising costs to attract donations, or just plain embezzlement.

In some cases, crass profit is disguised as fund-raising costs. Remember buying a RM1.00 a bookmark that carried the National Kidney Foundation’s name back in 2005? Well, sorry to say that your RM1.00 was divided as 90 cents profit to the maker of the bookmark, and 10 cents donation a real patient.

Balkis, or Persatuan Bunga Tanjung for that matter, isn’t the first, nor will it be the last charitable organisation to abuse the trust of those donating, and those needing donations.

However, that does not excuse their abuses and excesses, especially when they conduct their unsavoury activities under the umbrella of the government. That does not excuse their niggardly attempts at raping and abusing so many of those less privileged of money that was meant for them.

No one, and I mean no one, should ever fuck around with money meant for the less fortunate.

Then again, could we have expected any better from the First Wives Club of the ruling coalition? Especially Khir Toyo’s wife. I don’t even want to remember her name. People like her are the ones behind the scenes quietly stealing from...well anyone they can.

In the Quran it says:

"Give to orphans. Don’t steal from them."

"Don’t steal from orphans (or Allah will burn you forever in Hell)"

And lastly:

"Don’t steal from orphans. Don’t cheat or lie."

In which case, it seems that the First Wives Club has done all three. Their actions of transferring funds immediately after their respective states fell to the opposition, their lies about their accounts being audited...you draw your own conclusions.

But to me, one First Wife in particular seems particularly mischievous...but then again that could be my prejudice against her and her husband (ex Selangor MB who it seems destroyed document and tuck his tail between his legs to London).

But then again, it probably runs in that family.